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10 coaching lessons from business clients (Elena Demushkina)
This article was inspired by my frequent conversations with colleagues about the differences between life-coaching and business-coaching. Of course, when working in each of the two formats, there is its own specifics. In my opinion, it depends more on the decision of the coach about his specialization, rather than on the request of the client. And that's why.
When I seriously fell in love with coaching and realized the possibilities of my development on the path related to working with people, I thought that I would hardly return to the business context and companies.
Then I plunged deeply into the study of science, which was an unknown planet for me as a mathematician and financier, into psychology – the science of the soul. And this knowledge later formed the basis of the work format in life-coaching.
At that time, I could not connect the psychology of personality with business in any way and tried to work with client requests that lay in the zone of their personal lives, until the business returned to me on its own.
The phrase executives are people too was obvious to me all my 19 years of work in companies, but after leaving the business there was no understanding of how I can manifest and get in touch with the deeply human in the format of coaching sessions held with company leaders .
The clients helped. In a sense, then 10 years ago, in my own search for identification and the limits of my talents, I was an enthusiastic unknown animal for clients with a very strange development tool called Coaching.
Despite this, I noticed that their sincere curiosity about my style of work in the coaching format degenerated into a sincere desire to test for themselves how it all works, and my coaching position and faith in this tool allowed me not to prove anything to anyone 🙂 So gradually and the dialogue was unusual.
Through constant practice and conscious study of one's coaching competencies, including through personal coaching sessions and mentoring, the impact of tasks solved by clients in life on business began to become obvious, and business tasks on other areas of their lives.
There was an understanding that since each of us has basic patterns (behavioral strategies) of the personality, then when solving issues in any area, they are activated in the first place.
Transferences and counter-transferences, roles, ways of balancing statuses and ranks began to be realized. Practice began to acquire meaning and depth. And the border between life-coaching and business-coaching for me gradually began to disappear – I work with a Person and it does not matter in what area his request lies.
The stories and experience of communication with clients once splashed out as harmonious thoughts on a clean slate. As if someone wise spoke to me. And since then, I began to return to them often and reread them.
In this article, I want to share with you the lessons from my business clients, thanks to which I was able to develop my own style in working and building long-term relationships with them and bring life to sessions about “business”.
Perhaps some lessons will raise questions in you, and some will respond with consent. In any case, I hope that these lessons will create fertile ground for reflection, exchange of experience and joint development.
The client is first and foremost a person. Whatever its recognized external greatness, it is created from flesh, blood, thoughts, sensations and feelings. Hear what his feelings are about and you can be the most effective coach for him.
We never know who is really in front of us. We can recognize habitual social statuses and ranks, explore his behavioral scenarios together with the client, be a witness of how he forms the field of his changes, but our client can discover the true power only at the end of the journey. Be patient and considerate.
When meeting a new client, leave all hypotheses and personal experience outside the office.
Each of us has his own labyrinths of history, they can intersect. Deep coaching presence and work in the client's world map will help to avoid a head-on collision :).
Just be a blank slate, a big ear and a genuine heart.
Faith is needed even by the strongest.
The client's self-talk in the presence of a coach is often more important than a specific outcome. Be prepared to be part of the client's genius process and stay 10 out of 10 in the coaching presence. The client will find their own revelation. And only you will know that you lived in these moments. And it's priceless.
It is not you who establish rapport with them, it is they who establish rapport with you.
A client will trust you when you trust him. This is a mutual process of building rapport, in which there is a dialogue of people equal in inner strength, honesty and openness. And social statuses and achievements can be weighted.
Thinking about business, challenges, projects, competencies, conflicts in a coaching session, the client speaks from his core, authenticity. And this authenticity is always human. It's important to hear it.
Be congruent with yourself and professional ethics. Respect for your profession causes respect for you professionals of any business.
Be humble – your champions' breakthroughs in coaching are their result. You are a witness to their inner strength. Your strength lies in your ability to accept the greatness of another while remaining respectful of yourself. Only you know what you are really worth in this life. And you don't have to prove it. This is your personal secret.But what you keep, you broadcast unconsciously, and your clients feel and respect this power.
Release clients easily and with faith. The people are very grateful. Time will pass and they will return to talk about their victories and new dreams.
All this and much more that every coach faces in his practice, we will talk and work on the course Inner freedom of a coach: how to connect with your strength or 3 traps for a coach https://erickson.ru/trainings/serification-trainings/freedom_coach.htm.
I invite you and I will be happy to create a space of joint mastery with you.
Elena Demushkina, PCC ICF
Coach at Erickson University International Coaching
