Convert to realism

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Reflection on Holy Tuesday, year B1

It happens that after a whole day of various contacts with people, I remember an idyllic story about how a wolf will live with a lamb, and a lion will enjoy eating straw and graze with a calf (Isaiah 11: 6-7). It’s nice to think about it, but then a reflection comes that apparently you have to wait a long, long time for the fulfillment of such a prophecy, and if I am to look for signposts among biblical quotations, then for now I will find the words of Jesus more useful to me that it is worth combining prudence in life the serpent with the integrity of the dove (Mt 10:16).

The image of the harmonious life of humans and animals presented by Isaiah refers to the eternal deep desire for harmony and peace. We would like so much to live in harmony, in mutual understanding, without conflicts … We would like so much to always have loyal friends who share our views and preferences, faithful for good and bad … But both the centuries-old history of mankind and our private lives prove how difficult it is to make such longing.

There are many reasons for conflicts. We are characterologically different, we have a different pace of functioning, different habits, interests and ambitions. There are always too few goods that we want to use as individuals and collectives in relation to our needs. We choose different ideas for coping with the hardships of life, and by entering into various alliances, we oppose those who do not stand on our side. We complain that we have to defend ourselves against someone else’s predation and aggression, but we ourselves become predators in the name of survival.

Then we choose the appropriate masks and pretend there is no problem, while making daily sacrifices on the altar of effectiveness. Or we enchant reality with beautiful words, hiding in our carefully guarded oases of peace. Or we take offense at the whole world and bang our heads against the wall in various ways, with the result that we are only more and more bruised and sore. And when we sit down at a shared table in the family, among friends, in the company, instead of real human faces, we see mannequins similar to each other or structures made of our unfulfilled expectations and unmanageable fears.

Jesus’ meeting with the apostles during the last supper may make many of us realize how hypocritical and disconnected from reality our human relationships are. Others will find tips on how, by accepting reality with all its richness, also with its darkest sides, skillfully build interpersonal bonds so as not to destroy the existing good, and at the same time resist evil wisely.

We read at the beginning that Jesus was deeply moved when he was about to say that one of his disciples would betray him. Can I still be touched (not to be confused with nervousness!) In contacts with other people? Can I look at a person heartily when I speak of improper behavior or by showing a harmful attitude? Do I try to settle my next case as soon as possible, leaving myself room for evaluation of someone else’s motives or rather not wasting time?

Those who prefer to live in pleasant fictions rather than face the dread of reality may feel a bit disgusted that Jesus is revealing the betrayal of Judas. Had he not done so, he would not have spoiled the atmosphere at the table and would not have created additional anxiety in a situation where all those present could already feel the breathing of enemies on their backs. From the perspective of building and strengthening the community, however, Jesus’ decision turns out to be far-sighted, as a specific traitor has been identified. The apostles will never be perfectly unanimous, they will differ in the manner of proclaiming Jesus’ teaching or as to certain ritual and moral issues, but thanks to the disclosure of the traitor in the Upper Room later, they will not be defeated by mutual suspicions of disloyalty to the community or blaming each other for the Master’s death.

And another strange behavior: Jesus gives the traitor’s bread. He knows what awaits him on the part of Judas, and yet he makes a beautiful gesture, traditionally reserved for the most friends or the most respected people. This kind of behavior, which I have met several times “live”, has always made a great positive impression on me. Someone had no doubts that another betrayed his secrets, spoiled his opinions, treated him instrumentally, robbed him, gave false testimony against him in court, etc., and yet he was able to shake hands with this traitor, ask about the health of the children, even do a favor. Good did not overcome evil in the sense that it did not stop or reverse its effects. The betrayed one, who did not argue, did not take offense, did not try to take revenge, but did not contract evil and, despite some external losses, did not allow himself to be dirty internally. In my opinion, this attitude is one of the most difficult elements of the art of living – the grandmaster class. I would like to be able to do that too…

Various serious thinkers have wondered for centuries if Jesus could have stopped Judas knowing his intentions. I am not going to analyze the problem from the philosophical point of view. I look at this scene rather in terms of what it can teach us to live better and wiser lives. Above all, it teaches me that there are situations in life when another person must be left free and let him go into his own night. This is also a very difficult lesson, especially for the overprotective ones and taking responsibility for more than common sense predicts.

Let us take a closer look at the conversation between Jesus and Peter. Peter is so committed, energetic, full of enthusiasm, convinced of his attachment to the Master … And Jesus pours a bucket of cold water on him: “Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the rooster will not crush until you have denied me three times. ” Jesus does not say this to Peter, neither to prove what a great expert in human nature he is, nor to humiliate or humiliate his disciple. Using the right moment in the conversation, he shows Piotr his weaknesses: pride, easy submission to emotions, insufficient knowledge of himself. However, he does not reject Peter or cancel him out, and although Peter does prove to be unfaithful, he will later be able to return to the apostles without fear, and even take the lead over them.

The company at Jesus’ table in the Cenacle is varied, and as can be seen from the example of Judas and Peter, the two participants of the supper, whom we took a closer look at here – far from ideal. Jesus shares his life and builds the foundations of his Church not with angels, because angels do not need it and have other tasks, but with people of flesh and blood, with imperfect, weak, succumbing to various temptations and pressures, betraying and abandoning Him in the most difficult moments.

Likewise, each of us has different people around us. There will certainly be faithful John, ready to courageously accompany us to the end in the most terrible sufferings. There will also be Piotr, making a lot of mistakes, a bit unbalanced, still inexperienced in life, but at the same time having great development potential and kind by nature. Rather, we cannot avoid one Judas or another, whose disloyalty will hurt us greatly at best. There will also be other colorful characters whose portraits are not included in this small gallery. Jesus teaches us today that it is with such people, and not with angels, that we will live, cooperate and face difficult challenges. Just like that. Exactly, because we are not angels ourselves either.

It is worth learning from Jesus to look at the people around us and see them as they are, in all their unique truth. Without projecting your own anxieties or weaknesses on them. Without manipulating them and adjusting them forcibly to the scenario we have prepared. No regret that they did not meet our expectations, that they are far from ideal. Although it is not always convenient for us, these are the people on our way, we sit at the table with such people, and we can even do a lot of useful things together. Let us learn from Jesus the difficult art of giving these people a proper place in our personal lives and in the institutions and communities for which we are responsible.

Also read:

Małgorzata Frankiewicz, Live with the knowledge of betrayal