0
0
This is my first post, I do not know if it will have arms and legs, but please be understanding.
I started this blog to write about my experiences in fighting addiction, I will treat it as a diary in which I will write about myself about things that I do not tell about, therefore it is anonymous. Who knows, maybe I will help someone, and I hope that myself.
1. As I said in the title, I will write about the war that is going to take me a good few years, about my ups and downs, and about the hope of going straight.
I am almost 19 years old, I am a middle-city boy with great prospects, which I have not used and still do not use, I buried my talents and my eyes are swollen from crying and my heart is torn, I distorted my conscience but I want to regain power over my body and soul.
I have been struggling with pornography and the masturbation associated with it since 4th grade, and somebody’s going to laugh now. This is your drama, boy get out of there, don’t make me laugh. YES, THIS IS THAT HAS IT A BARD TO ME THAT I WANT TO LIVE CLEAN AND EVERY TIME I FALL, I BECOME A HYPOCRITED. An innocent boyish interest began, my classmates watched it on their phones from school, at the beginning I ran away from it, I ran away from it a lot, but I had a friend who was very interested in it, one time he turned it on in my computer. I was against it, but it spread like a plague from every side, such a kid, susceptible to colleagues from primary school, more and more people hear about it, and my father did not help, who hid so badly and still hides poorly. in the end, I don’t remember how it happened, but I started to masturbate, which continues to this day and I consider it a humiliation, one of my gravest sins and I want as much as possible, I don’t know which time to break with it and I believe that I will make it. So to sum up, I am going to college and fighting my impurity and the enemy of number one laziness that I already want to vomit from.
I tried to stop it many times, but it always came back like a boomerang. Twice I managed to stay clean for about half a year, I went straight but something broke, just a few weeks ago I stopped again for a few months.
What can I say more ? It seems to me that an addiction is nothing more than a disease, you can cure symptoms, but there are relapses, complications. God Himself says that sin will destroy the sinner itself, I think every addict will agree with it. This psychological discomfort weighs down like a burden, such a person feels like a beaten dog. I’ve had so many times, I still do, thank God that he still gives me a chance and he did not allow me to lose myself indifferently in my sin.
What to do to quit the addiction? Based on my experience, I can give you some advice:
1. You fail when you lose hope. I have found this out many times when you enter into dialogue with the Evil One. If you do not drive away your thoughts, actions, if you do not eliminate the factors that you associate with your bondage, you will not cope. How is it possible when God is with me? , Does he not love me if he lets me fall ?, God is a gentleman stands and knocks and waits for someone to open him, and the Devil: “like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”, as soon as you lift the door, he enters with shoe, breaking your lame door . God has given us free will, so you can choose to fall or stay in good. Well, a lot of people say that God is with them and they wonder how it is possible that I will get it at all, and the answer is very simple: you are not you are with God, you have a distorted view of reality; now you will wonder how is it me? Me, a model Christian? Once a year I go to confession, I receive Holy Communion, I don’t like priests a bit, I pray sometimes and like me, I go to church on Sundays, sometimes I just drink myself and use contraceptives like me? How can God leave me like this? Everyone does it, but Jesus did not say, be like everyone else, just be the salt of the earth, and there does not have to be a lot of salt for the dish to taste. Then people wonder why my wife left, why they fired me, why he committed suicide? and the answer is simple because YOU HAVE COMBINED WITH THE DEVIL, NOT GOD, AND HE WAITING AND KNOCKING UNTIL YOU OPEN TO HIM ,
and for those who think that bad people live better, I recommend you to watch “God is not dead”
and will pay attention to the figure of a businessman and teacher of philosophy, and for those who will not see one interesting sentence: I am sitting in a golden cage.
And although people envy me its value, I would still prefer to be free.
Satan does not try to disturb the people who are with him, but those who are not.
2. You fail when you give up. An extraordinary example of Judas, which almost everyone knows, Judas did something terrible, but he forgot that God’s mercy has no limits, that God always forgives when we repent and make up for our transgressions.
3.Always try again . Confession is an extraordinary sacrament in which Jesus forgives our sins in the form of a priest. Each time you can start a new path when you fall, if you just want to start over, arouse the most perfect regret you can “oh my soul, if you knew what you are doing when you commit a sin”
4. Look to the Blessed Mother and the Saints. I experienced two or three times of genuine Satan’s temptation, until my punishment then passed me, even if I think about it now, it’s something terrible. I carry a rosary with me and at that moment I grabbed it and started to pray fervently, I fell on the bed and I felt paralyzed, I prayed like that for a good hour and then I was exhausted after a few hours of running. Resort to St. Michael the Archangel and other Saints. It really helps!
For those who do not know “how the prayer works”, I will explain to the Saints, because there are many such people, once my atheist friend asked me about it, with a mocking smile on her lips that it does not differ from prayer to some Greek gods . I also smiled and explained to her what it was about :).
Prayer to the saints is an intercessory prayer, the Saints who are close to the Lord God bring it directly to the Lord God, we do not pray to the Saints as God, but we ask through their intercession, because they deserved for God on Earth and want us help, that’s why they intercede, and someone will probably ask why? I could write a little more, but I don’t feel completely competent, so if a priest reads it, I would like to read what he writes about intercessory prayer .
Good, I write on the keyboard a bit slowly, so I will give it to myself, for today. Sorry for spelling mistakes, if you find something, correct me in the comments, I hope that I will help someone, I will write something sometimes to refresh myself and you.
