God’s new horizons

New Bo ż e horizons…

How often , especially in the fall, at least it happens to me that some sadness like this comes and holds me by the throat, I don’t know why. Suddenly, the things we’ve dealt with turn out to be so enormous and are biting fangs at us, and we seem to be completely powerless. Such a state causes withdrawal, abandoning all initiative (because it will fail again), we tend to see everything in a negative way, it is also a time when our oversensitivity may accuse others of deliberately negative actions towards us. All in all, everything is so gray, so pointless.

The older I am, the more I feel such states, the more that many changes await me in the near future, probably some fear of change paralyzes me and binds my throat. I have found that when our emotions are rising, we are more focused on ourselves, and when we are relaxed then we are able to detach ourselves from ourselves. We were burying my oldest sister last week, she was 79. During this funeral, I was wondering why I do not have time, and even a desire to meet my family even from time to time? I have one sister and brother whom I like to meet and chat with, while the rest are so distant, kind of from another planet, maybe because I don’t remember them as children, but adults. Actually, apart from the two, there is only one sister left, which is four of us out of seven.

But I found other factors too which affect this state, our perception of another, even a relative, this relative, especially the poor one, touches our conscience, touches the deepest layers of our emotions. We have to adopt a pose, the best and most willingly to have “peace of mind” is to pass the blame to this person, he owed himself, you had to arrange your life differently, you had to learn, etc. Unfortunately, when these relatives are 50 or more years old such speech is already the song of the swans, and only our speech can justify us.

In my soul I feel that it should be different, that we should help each other, but how? For me, the most important help is to point them to Jesus, but they don’t want to accept it. All other actions are in vain, as they can only make these people dependent on us. What happens when my status has changed dramatically? It is also an interesting phenomenon, I was often perceived by people together with my family as a resourceful person and a person with goodness, many people, especially those who knew me from the side of the company, even went to the Community to gain something from me . I didn’t notice it right away, but over time we saw that it was not Christ who was interested in that person, but in our goods.

Interesting by the way about how people in the community perceive you in terms of what, and can you have an influence on it? Or rather, they are not friends with their image of you, or really with you. I would never have seen it if it were not for the financial catastrophe in our lives. From wealthy people, due to the lack of orders on the training market, within two years we became bank debtors. During these two years we dealt with the emotional pressure exerted on us by different people, we got used to the situation, many things had to fall down and perish in our lives. And this burden brought us closer to God, the whole family, maybe almost the whole.

The reactions of people around us to our situation have been and are different. From the extreme, where a very close person is angry with us, you could say that – as we dared to become bankrupt – and that person will no longer be able to benefit from us. Oh, I’ve heard a lot about myself, who I am not, and what evil I have done to that person. But at the other extreme, there are people who are spiritually reborn, who support not only with prayer, but also with means. One of the pastors probably took me the most when he came to us and assured us that if it were so, that we would have no place to live or eat, we should only let us know, and he would come after us and give us a place to live and work. It’s really endearing. Surprisingly, when it comes to the Church, I met with great care and genuine concern, there are more and more people who pray for us and suggest new solutions. We are very happy about it, but we also know that this state is another step from God in our lives.

We’ve already been through it at least twice, the first time we were in Wrocław, and we were supposed to be in Pomerania, Lord clearly us in the morning he woke up at 4 and ordered us to leave Wrocław for Świecie immediately. We did it obediently, against the urging of my wife’s parents. After a week it turned out that God knows what he is doing, because it was 1997 and a great flood in Wrocław, where we lived, there was 5 meters of water, and my wife was 7 months pregnant and had slight complications. We thanked God for leading us out of this place of danger very much.

Second time, it was then, when we were already living here in Pomerania, in a small village, that we felt great anxiety, even tangibly that evil was approaching. Besides, we were trying to have a second child, and God told me clearly in my face, I will not give you that child here, you have to move to Świecie. It didn’t last as fast as in Wrocław, because we already had our furniture and many things, but we dutifully moved out and what happened next. My wife got pregnant right away, but three tragedies happened in this place within a few years. People from that house were dying. First, our neighbor from the staircase was murdered. Then the neighbor on the ground floor hanged himself, young peasants, 16 years old, and finally the boy’s father fell straight from the tractor under the wheel and died. It was terrible, from a house where only 15 people lived, three were dead in a short time, in a village that had perhaps 300 people. We didn’t understand it, but all we knew was that we wanted to be obedient to God.

Also now God told me three years ago that our place is in the USA. However, I understood that this trip was to take place within 10 years. So I calmly waited for God’s instructions, now I can see that everything is slowly closing and we feel like a kick on our asses from God to move further. The stop we feel is England. It is interesting that we have many friends and believers there, reborn people who mainly suffer because of the lack of a Polish priest. This information made me very happy, because I cannot imagine my life without serving God and people. Liverpool for now, but there is also a group of believers in nearby Preston who have similar needs.

I met a friend recently with whom I studied in SP and ZSZ and even we were together in the army, he leads such an ordinary, stable life. He has a wife, a son and all his life he has been working as a locksmith and playing lottery, maybe. In fact, we don’t have much to talk about with each other, when I told him about my plans, and actually God’s plans in our life, I saw such a strange grimace in his eyes, he probably thought, yes God and who else? After a while he asked a question, do you still want to be in your old age? And I said, as long as we are alive, everything can and must be changed, for me a monotonous and organized life is a murder. I have always liked changes, challenges, and especially when I got to know the Lord Jesus. He was nodding his understanding, but to him, it must have been space.

Coming January my wife will be leaving for Liverpool and I will stay to finish whatever business is possible. Children have to finish school, Paulina finishes high school, matura exam and an attempt to enter medicine in Wrocław, Julia finishes primary school, and Lidzia finishes 2nd grade at primary school. The wife, being an English teacher, will deal with clerical matters and work for her immediately. He’ll look for a job for me and we’ll be together soon. Perhaps I would have imagined these changes differently, but apparently we have already grown into this Pomeranian land so much that God had to drastically pull us out of here. Our Chełmno community will have a new pastor and will probably start a new stage of its development, I will be satisfied that I had the privilege to be the first pastor in Chełmno in KZ.

Of course it’s not easy for us children are going through, especially in the middle. But maybe he will come back to Poland to study, who knows. After all, the older one will be with her grandparents, she will help them, but she will also have a place to live and the grandparents will have a granddaughter who will be able to take care of them. I also believe because God told me that He will pay off all our debts, I don’t know how it will happen, but I’m sure if He says it, it will. When he told me that, I thought he would pay it back then, quickly, and we will continue to run some business, but now I see that he had a completely different plan.

When I look at our situation in this way, I can see the adventures of Old Testament Joseph. He had huge promises from God, but nothing indicated that they would happen in his life. Sold and abused by his relatives, he landed in Potiphar’s house, where it already seemed that it would be fine, but unfortunately his wife was accused of something he did not do and to prison. There he could break down, which then indicated that he was to be that sun or that special sheaf. But he did not break down and he learned to manage even in a prison, after a few years, due to God’s revelation of Pharaoh’s dreams, he was elevated to the position of ruler of Egypt and thus he was able to save his family by bringing them to Egypt.

This amazing story teaches us to be humble and surrendered to God in situations we would never want. However, I know that the path with God is not easy and we are sinful. Like the disciples going to Emmaus, God must turn us back to right thinking and on the right path. We forget about our calling and get used to what is. In one of the prophecies given to me, I saw a wonderful picture. Well, eagles living in Israel are strange birds, sometimes they change their plumage, and even beak, claws, and because they live a long time, it happens after the age of 50 (just like my ). At the time of this moult, they must look dull and are easy prey to others, or even a laughing stock, you might think that this eagle is sick and that it is about to die. But he renews his strength, takes on new feathers, grows a new beak and claws, and like a– Ps. 103.5: “He satisfies your life with good, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

Oh yes, many prophecies have been to my life and a pro for service, but these have not yet been fulfilled, maybe it will be this one time, this new period in my life and that of my family. We believe that God sends us first to England and then to the USA, we agree with God’s decision and want to live for Him. We also believe that the tribulation we are going through right now is for healing, reflection and renewal. We believe that our lives are in God’s hands and He testifies to it. Despite our difficult situation, it provides us with the grace that what is most important is also handled. A lot could be written, but dear ones, let us not run away from experiences and let us not panic, God does not lose control over our lives, nor over your life, trust Him, trust God completely.

Your Mr. Kazik J.

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