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# 1 Self-confidence depends on knowledge
The fastest way to gain confidence is if we know what to do or say. Uncertainty is often a signal from our psyche: you are unprepared, you can’t.
So we just need to be better prepared and ask ourselves: What else do I need to know? What do I need to know how to be better prepared?
# 2 Control your fears and thoughts
The first point can unfortunately lead to a trap. Often people feel that they constantly need to learn and educate themselves and are never ready. They do the tenth course, the fifth diploma, and they are still too weak. They are afraid of failure, evaluation.
They mean: What if I don’t know? What if I look like a fool? What if ..? – here the solution is not to learn, but to free yourself from negative thoughts, from fear of judgment. Your goal must be to answer the question: How to stop worrying about the judgment of others? How do I appreciate myself for what I already know?
Sometimes it’s a matter of inner decision: I can do what I can. I’ve done my best and now it’s time to act.
# 3 Allow yourself to be spontaneous
Often the key to self-confidence is opening up to spontaneity. Allowing yourself to react flexibly to what arises. I always wanted to be prepared, but I once heard from my mentor: Adam, life is too important to take everything so seriously.
From then on, I started working on being more loose in my life, on being spontaneous. I did not become a liberated madman, but I gave myself the right to have things happening that I had not planned. I stopped fighting it.
# 4 Plan scenarios
Sometimes it is good to prepare 3-5 scenarios – if they say X, I will do Y, if I fail A, I will do B. Then you have spontaneity planned. You are prepared for several different situations. This is reassuring and reassuring.
# 5 Verify your thinking
If we have negative thoughts that weaken us, ask yourself: Does this thinking support me? Does this thinking make sense? If not, make an inner decision by saying to yourself in your mind: STOP. This thinking does not support me and makes no sense! I focus on… – and focus on action, solution, work.
# 6 Work with the breath, learn mindfulness
Breathing is always the basis. There is nothing more important in change and strengthening than working with the breath. It’s not about 5 easy, relaxing breaths – although it is important, and it works. Remembering to take 5 breaths of 3-4 seconds and exhalations 4-5 seconds before an important meeting is essential.
But even more important is the constant catching of contact with the breath, with myself, with the body every day. A helpful training for mindfulness learning is the audio recording, which you can download for free here: Centering. I recommend it.
# 7 Distract
Sometimes we are in a loop of thoughts and worries. If you do not have the strength to work on yourself, talk to someone, just stop what you are doing, distract your attention by: sports, watching something on the Internet. Give yourself 30-60 minutes for this and then come back to your thoughts. It is important that what you watch is inspiring, making you laugh.
It is important that you have 2-3 channels on YouTube, on podcasts, that motivate you. Check out my podcast or YouTube channel, maybe you will find them.
# 8 Ask an advisor
I systematically use such services so that an external person listens to me, verifies my personal and business gaps and either advises me or helps me come to solutions by coaching myself. Sometimes the idea is for an outsider to ask you a question: On a 0-5 scale, how sure are you what you are saying?
And the very question makes you have to be honest with yourself. And the problem is that we often deceive ourselves and thus get lost in our own thoughts and decisions. As a result, nothing changes. Then another question: What do you need to be more sure? or What makes you feel confident?
When I work with companies, teams or 1-in-1 people, we always work in three areas: mentality – how to think in order to act more effectively. Communication – how to get along better with others and manage them, strategy – how to better plan, set goals, define directions, verify business gaps.
That’s what strategic psychology is. Often, going through these different areas, catching gaps in them and areas for development, makes self-confidence grow. Why? Because we are more aware, we know what to work on.
The second situation that requires working with an external expert is the moment when we need to work through our past and blockages. When people come to me for coaching, whether it’s business consulting, a burnout problem, or the need for communication and management training, in 70% of cases it is important to work deeper on past emotions.
And thanks to the fact that I have integral methods, I can help these people. It is often not a question of many years of therapy. In most cases, it is going through the process of releasing, clearing from internal blockages.
Not working through them causes our confidence to drop.
# 9 Know yourself better
The better we know ourselves: our strengths, talents, personality and competences, the better we feel about ourselves. That is why you need to go back to the past, come back to your memories and catch those elements that remind you of your achievements, successes, stages of change. When we forget about the past, we destroy access to self-esteem.
# 10 Daily inspiration
Provide yourself almost every day with inspirations that develop, inspire, strengthen you.
It can be a book, YouTube, podcasts or meeting people. Even the most luminous person needs to supply oxygen to his self-confidence all the time. Confidence is like a muscle – it either dies or grows.
But I also recommend you my free online courses, designed for people who want to receive business, psychological or sales inspiration by e-mail every day or several times a week.
# 11 Trust yourself
At the end of the book “The Wall – How to Overcome Resistance and Make Changes” I write about what I think is the most important. For many it is incomprehensible and abstract. But when I discovered it a few years ago, I consider it to be the essence of true confidence. It is about trust: in yourself, in life and / or for some people: in a higher power.
Believers cite God, but few non-Catholics admit that they believe – in anything greater than they are. They don’t call it God. They find other words. Why don’t they confess? Because they think they will be misjudged, that they will be considered freaks. When it turns out that many people discover a holistic view of faith.
Often, without contact with something above us, we are unable to bear the burden of life that we are experiencing. And it is this burden that takes away our confidence and strength. I will not explore this topic further here, but I want you to know one thing – what you feel is good for you is good. Trust it. Don’t be ashamed of your faith, worldview. I am not a Catholic, but I am driven by trust in the process of life and force majeure, it helps a lot.
Let’s go back to trusting ourselves – you have to look for the answer to the question: When do I trust myself? What do I need to trust myself more? Can I rely on myself? When can I rely on myself?
These are difficult questions, but they are crucial. If you don’t look for short-term methods for confidence, but start looking for ways to feel trust, then confidence will naturally come.
When we build our self-confidence, we are ready to fight for ours.
To achieve what we want, sometimes it is enough to exude confidence. Others feel it from us and are convinced that we are right. However, this is often not enough. Then you need to remember about
- keeping eye contact when talking about key things
- maintaining eye contact when you are questioned or criticized
- using argument that is convincing – just telling about your perspective is not enough
- asking critical questions that keep you out of your head
- evasive plays that give us time to react when surprised
- activating the warrior’s energy, without which you are just a wise talking head, not a conqueror who strives for a goal
- assertively admitting a mistake so as not to show weakness, but to take it to an even higher level
Where I will share my 10 most effective methods that I have been using for over 10 years at work as a psychologist, counselor, coach, mentor and entrepreneur.
The number of places is limited. You can book a place for free by clicking here or in the graphic below.
