Personal development is a lie? What does success really depend on?

Over the years, hundreds of books and training courses have told you what you need to do to be successful.

Set ambitious goals, visualize, dream or invest in real estate – that’s the top of the list. However, these aspects are not relevant to everyday life. It’s everyday life, everyday situations translate into whether we are successful or not.

It is the daily handling of challenges that is the source of our later achievements or failures. Without these competences, it is impossible to: keep a job in the long term, get promoted, get raises, sell more, achieve better results in projects, run your own business, be a project leader, or have the respect of people who would value our opinion.

Let’s start with a completely different perspective. I recently posted a post on Facebook that dealt with the topic of being successful in a way, in short, over dead bodies to a goal.

I wrote in it that apart from self development or investment, there is another way to success, one that hardly anyone writes about. It is worth remembering that, regardless of all the wisdom of the world, the paths to success are different. I encourage you to discover the dark side of guides, wise lectures by super speakers, because often what we hear or read about on the Internet and in books is far from the truth.

In this article, I want to explore another side of getting what we want. Probably the most important thing: everyday life and everyday reaction to everyday life.

For six months, I wrote down the activities I do during the day. I also watched my clients and friends, what they do on a daily basis, what they spend their time on. I have organized this list into areas including .

• everyday human life – e.g. food, hygiene
• daily housework – e.g. cleaning
• everyday professional – e.g. meetings with employees, clients, e-mails
• everyday family activities – eg talking, going out, playing
• everyday personal – e.g. reading a book, unleashing on Netflix
• daily development – eg watching materials online
• other, difficult to categorize

Many of them are trivial activities that do not even need to be written down, because they are obvious. But I watched nevertheless. I thought, and the knife, something interesting will appear.

There were three observations, more questions:

1. Do I pay attention to small but important things, such as playing with my baby, eating calmly?
2. How will everyday life change in the 10-20 years, when my son is 15-25, and what do I need to teach him to care for what is important and at the same time be prepared for those changes that will happen?
3. What professional, everyday activities really affect the effect I care about – what really lead to results, and what not? I write about it below. I invite you in a moment to self-diagnosis and reflect on your dimensions of Business Intelligence.

But before we get into that, let’s take a bird’s-eye view of the evolution that has been taking place over the years and of which we are part. The mission of this blog “psychology of the future” is to prepare readers for changes and the future. Few people look more broadly at what is happening around them, in their lives, in the industry. They are busy with a runner, the rush of everyday life. Therefore, when I publish a new article once a week, on weekends, I want us to get a perspective, take a look at what is happening from a distance. Take care of it yourself too. To be ready for change and the future we need including .

1. Look to the future, anticipate trends and changes. And then stay ahead of trends and take actions that will allow you to react before something happens, while it happens, or just after it. (Not like 95% of people who react long after everything has changed and it’s too late.)
2. Take care of the present, see if the current actions are good, sufficient.
3. Know the past, follow its secrets to draw the right conclusions for the future.

Let’s start at point 3, let’s look at the evolution:

The evolution I like to call stages 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, 4.0 shows the stages that we as humans and our work are going through.

At stage 1.0, which lasted before and after the 18th century, although it was with the 1st industrial revolution in the so-called century, we began to observe the first stages of business development, which we are talking about until today. Previously, we had an agrarian world that was governed by similar rules, but then it was difficult to talk about business, we could achieve success through: connections, family name or very hard physical work and some kind of smartness.

Stage 2.0 started coming along with the second industrial revolution. This time is estimated at the beginning of the 20th century and is associated with the years from 1870, when electricity began to enter our reality. This is where the world we partially live in began. There are many dimensions of those times, but in short, the source of success in stage 2.0 were both the 1.0 principles and the new ones: knowledge, education and competences, which are still the basis of professional work to this day. Without them, it is impossible to get promoted, get raises, sell more, achieve better results in projects, run your own business, be a project leader have the respect of people who would value our opinion. I write about them in the second part of the article. (about how to develop them I will be running a webinar on Thursday, October 4 at 20:00 to sign up> click here

The 70s and thus the end of the 20th century are the beginning of the era of computers and the Internet, and thus stage 3.0, which has only recently affected Poland. About this world and the competences needed in it in the coming weeks and in my latest book, which I wrote with Forbes journalist Wojtek Maroszek, the premiere in the second half of November, and the premiere in mid-October.

Preparations for era 4.0 are ahead of us. This blog was created precisely so that we and our children in the era that will soon come (from 3.0 we will quickly jump to 4.0) are ready. But for this to be possible, we must be sure that we have mastered the competences from the world of 1.0, i.e. patience and the ability to work hard, persistent and 2.0 – that is, finding your specialization, professional direction suited to our talents, personality, what comes best for us, and 14 other skills that I found and wrote down while observing my and other reality in the period November 2017 – April 2018. And then I delved into each of them. A list of 19 issues was created. It turned out that the majority, because as many as 14, are about dealing with other people. Below you will find 14 sources of success in the world of 2.0. Importantly, they are so universal that they will also apply to stages 3.0 and 4.0.

We can develop internally, dream, set goals, work on our emotions or, on the other hand, invest in real estate, the stock market, companies, advertising. But our daily life is based on how we deal with others on a daily basis. Here is a list of 14 challenges, and thus 14 competences that we need to have and develop.
Check out in this short, subjective test how you rate yourself and which factors need improvement. For a complete picture, send this article to three of your friends / colleagues and ask them to identify you through this test. It will take them 3-5 minutes, and you will have an overview of your own assessment and that of others.

Here is a Test of the 14 Everyday-External Success Factors. Why? Let’s check.

Test of 14 everyday-external success factors.

Read each sentence and use a scale of -3… 0… + 3 to describe how you are doing.

(-3 -> I can’t cope at all, it overwhelms me, I’m running away from it, 0 → I don’t know, yes or yes, once yes, once yes, +3 -> I’m doing great)

1. I can deal with irritating, difficult people
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
2. I can break into a difficult supervisor, partner, client with my idea, idea
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1 .. 0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
3. I can react and deal with conflicts between people. I can manage such a conflict
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
4. I can watch over other people in terms of their tasks and goals to be achieved
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0. . + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
5. I can deal with people’s lack of independence. , , lack of initiative. I can make people take responsibility, are independent and have initiative.
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. +2 .. + 3
6. I can deal with resistance, reluctance of people during meetings, discussing topics, projects
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1 .. 0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
7. I know what influences my co-workers, bosses, employees to be convinced of something, and when they will be withdrawn and reluctant
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
8. When I propose an idea, idea, product, project, I can react to words, objections: “Interesting, but I have to think”
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1 ..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
9. When I propose an idea, idea, product, project, I can react to words, objections: “I don’t decide”
   -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
10. When I propose an idea, idea, product, project, I can react to words, objections: “I don’t have time
    -3 ..- 2. .-1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
11. When I propose an idea, idea, product, project, I can react to words, objections: “I don’t have money
    -3 ..- 2. .-1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
12. When I propose an idea, idea, product, project, I can react to words, objections: “I’m not interested in it”
    -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
13. When I propose an idea, idea, product, project, I can react to words, objections: “I’ll think it over another time, next time”
    – 3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3
14. When I propose an idea, idea, product, project, I can react to words, objections: “Something is missing”
    -3 ..- 2 ..- 1..0 .. + 1 .. + 2 .. + 3

If you’ve looked closely, you’ve probably noticed that factors 1-6 relate to aspects of communication, people management. Factor # 7 is about being aware of what works for others. Factors 8-14 are strictly the ability to react to specific words, objections, doubts. These 14 elements constitute our everyday life, they are a dozen different and sometimes similar reactions of people around us.

The ability to react, respond, retort, and manage a given situation is decisive in many topics, projects, ideas, plans that we care about.
We can talk about wonderful and important things in personal development. On the futurological aspects of artificial intelligence. These are extremely fascinating areas. But without foundations, without the ability to react to everyday and external (i.e. other people, their reactions, behavior) factors, we will not be able to break through.

If you want to learn how to develop these skills, how to overcome the obstacles that appear within these 14 points, come to LIVE, coming next Thursday, 4.10. at 20:00.

If you want to develop all 14 competences, soon the premiere of my two Academies: Persuasion and Selling of Ideas and Leader. This is my latest online training, which will premiere on the evening of October 4th.

We are opening enrollment for these courses next Thursday. Expect information on e-mail, blog, social media.

I recommend one of the newest trainings: Academy of Conviction and Ideas.