Homeland

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Meditation on Thursday, the 3rd week of Advent, year C2

What is my lineage? I never thought about it too much. I am not a lover of genealogy. I lived with my parents for over thirty years under the same roof, I remember both my grandmothers and one of my grandparents well, because they all died when I was already at university. I was told about my great-grandparents and great-grandmothers, especially in my childhood. But I never really thought about my family relationship. I took it as something completely natural, recognizing that most people do. Who wonders when the sun is shining or it is raining? The only thing that can get upset is when one of these phenomena makes it difficult for us to implement our plans.

A friend from primary school, whom I met years later, said: “You know, we had such normal, healthy families in our childhood. You couldn’t appreciate it back then. But now I can see that this is capital for life. ” I remembered. Sometimes, in difficult times, these words came back to me, and I had to admit I was right. Because even when I rebelled against my parents, I knew perfectly well that I owe the courage and strength to this rebellion to me by their upbringing, as well as the unquestionable, indisputable certainty that even the most dangerous opponent does not do certain things, certain limits are not exceeded.

Such matters are not thought of on a daily basis. In a hurry, when we carry out thousands of tasks, we make a lot of decisions, usually those reflexes formed in childhood and youth are decisive. This capital is more or less appreciated. And the question of taste, about which Zbigniew Herbert wrote so wisely in a poem for prof. Izydora Dąmbska.

Moments of insight rarely come. This happened to me when last Saturday I watched a TV broadcast from the march of the Committee for the Defense of Democracy. Saturday, one of the few days when I could easily forget about the existence of a computer for a few hours. Meanwhile, despite my greed, I buy live streaming and spend a few hours staring at the screen. At some point, a reflection comes: I am here, I participate in this event as much as my current life situation allows, I am moved by the media, but very much like the people in Warsaw – because this is the attitude that the participants of the march advocate. , I was taught first at home and later in fortunately good schools.

“I love and understand freedom” – I would like to say it simply. Today, having lived a little more than half a century in this world, I know that the choice of such values does not come out of nowhere. I owe it to the fact that my ancestors kept simple peasant common sense and did not allow themselves to be tempted by ideological illusions or the magic of lucrative positions, that they valued solid work on their own, disgusted with sacking and easy careers through deals, and sometimes it was difficult for them to bend their necks in front of them. orders of bosses or officials and did not try to hide it. At the same time, they kept a humorous distance to themselves and more or less to the same degree to party secretaries at various levels and to the local parish priest. Hence I am – from such climates and such landscapes.

On Monday morning, on my way to mass at the village church, I passed groups of children going to school. I don’t have my own kids, but I used to teach such kids in another small village. Some smiling and chattering, others as if they have not yet woken up from sleep, others, in turn, look scared and running away from what may have happened to them at home … little creatures could easily grow up and then live their lives feeling free. First of all, internal freedom, but as we know, it cannot exist without certain external conditions.

Motherland – a word from the kind of the greatest, which so far intimidated me so much that I preferred to avoid them just in case. In the last few days, for the first time in my already quite long life, I felt the meaning of this word almost tangibly. Homeland – an area that stretches between this spiritual heritage that my parents passed on to me and what is most precious to me and what I would like to pass on to the younger ones.

What is your lineage?

And where will it take you?

Where will our, sometimes intertwined, bloodlines lead us?