Or are you ashamed of what most leaders are ashamed of?

Why can I talk about this?

The trust my clients place in me is often enormous. Thanks to the fact that they can open up and work with personal and business topics, they can work through the most important issues, and I can share with you the lessons of working with them on the blog.

Confidentiality is one of the key values, obvious, but often requiring confirmation in conversation 2-3 times that what we are talking about will not go beyond this room.

I never reveal or reveal details that could be related to a specific person or company. At the same time, on a mission to educate, I share these secrets and present a set of 6 true most-repeated secrets of leaders of small and large companies .

Why are people not telling the truth?

But let’s take a step back. Before I get into the secrets, a few thoughts on why people don’t reveal the full truth when we ask them, “How’s business going? / How’s work? / How are the effects of actions?

On the one hand, it is obvious. They don’t confide in everyone because someone might use it against them. Someone who is not a very trusted person does not need to know the details. They care about their image so better say it’s great.

On the other hand, it happens that even close people do not show the full picture. They are ashamed, they think they should get better results. They are afraid of being judged and perceived as underperforming. But it is also a fact that some people do not want to burden their friends or relatives with problems, they do not want them to care, they do not want to spoil the atmosphere, so they color. Also, social chats are not meant to present strategic thinking and challenges.

What’s wrong with me?

So there are many reasons. However, too strong and constant coloring makes many people feel “everyone is beautiful, and I am the only one struggling with…. what’s wrong with me?!? ”.

This is how delusion and hypocrisy are created, because most people have some difficulties but rarely talk about them – you have to be somebody! So we have an effect that I once called with a client “the Instagram effect in business”.

Many decision makers, serious directors do not have an Instagram account, they do not “promote” there, but many of them do the same as many instagram users – only at live meetings. It beautifies, colors and powders the reality.

This leads to distorting reality and a feeling of loneliness that creates the pressure of “everyone is perfect but I am not.” This is how we create our lives for the public. And this in effect burns out both man and business.

And to be clear – I’m not talking about spreading your problems to everyone and around .

But everyone should rethink whether or not they are not fed up with functioning in a curved reality. The moment a person dares to name reality in front of himself and in front of another person, he opens the possibility of working on it, changing it and ceasing to feel alone in this problem.

6 problems – secrets of leaders

Many managers and entrepreneurs struggle with them.

1. Others certainly do better and do more

Unsuccessful project / investment
Leaders often boast about successful projects but don’t admit what went wrong. An experienced man in a managerial position or an entrepreneur knows that most projects are sometimes unsuccessful. 1-2 out of 10 are the ones that pass, are successful. The number of mistakes is always greater than the successes. However, we often feel that the opposite should be the case. There are certainly people who have such periods of life, such area of ​​responsibility, where the statistics are significantly better. However, when you look at the average performance over many years, the statistics can be relentless.

But others definitely do better, do more, don’t they?

2. We don’t say that because that’s not true

Departure of employees / recruitment problems and management
Everyone is eager to talk about the expansion of the company or team. This proves that the manager is effective. It is always admirable. At the same time, it is also easy to talk about problems with employees when the blame is shifted to them: “I had a weak man, so I fired him / he was lazy, despite a few chances, he did not show up and I thanked him / the labor market is difficult, hard to find good people”. Of course, these words can often be true. I do not deny it. But we rarely hear the thoughts “a man passed away, because I cannot motivate / I lost a good employee, because I cannot manage / do not recruit good people, because our brand is too weak”.

We don’t say that because it’s not true, right?

3. Only the weak and the losers have such problems

A sense of burnout and lack of self-motivation
During meetings, it is worth smiling, exuding confidence and satisfaction, and being open to others. In this way, we allow ourselves to be liked more, we make others feel good and remember us better. This is how a positive opinion about our person is built. That is why we rarely say “I have been depressed for a week / I feel like nothing / I have no motivation to work”. On the one hand, it is reasonable, because why complain to someone and confess. I also rarely come out with such a topic. But it creates the impression that nobody has any emotional challenges.

After all, only the weak and the losers have such problems, right?

4. Not everyone has to grow by 50% a year!

Increase in earnings / revenues of the company less than planned
When there is growth, we boast. It is obvious. But we are not talking about losses. This is a taboo subject. How would we be perceived if we earned less than in the previous year? This is one of the biggest image-related flaws. So we avoid it like fire. The leaders themselves play with numbers in their heads so as not to admit the truth to consciousness. However, not every company and not every person earns 5-10-30-50-100% more each year. You hear about companies or promotions that fascinate or make you jealous, and these single rumors create thoughts in people’s minds like “everyone is growing gigantic, but not me”.

Well, everyone has to grow by min. 50% per annum, right

5. Should we always be the best?

Competition / other employee was better
When we get a higher position or win against a competitor, there is a lot to be proud of. But when someone overtakes us, it creates a sense of inferiority. So it’s natural not to talk about it. Because what to boast about, what to strengthen the image on the market. You have to keep an eye on your position. And that sometimes makes sense. However, we will not be better every time. The problem is that ambition doesn’t allow that, we don’t want it to be like that. But the reality is different.

But we should always be the best, right?

6. Shame as hell

Shame
Everyone in business should be confident, determined and satisfied with the results. Other emotions such as fear, regret, and stress are not accepted. However, the truth is that we are human and we experience emotions such as shame. Here are some examples of thoughts stuck in the minds of many a leader:

• I’m ashamed that I haven’t been able to make decisions for a long time. I should be doing it faster and better. And I can’t…
• I feel stupid that my employees are better than me. I should be an example for them, and they are beyond me in knowledge and efficiency in many things. It used to be different.
• who do I go out to when it turns out that I cannot express my opinion at meetings with other directors? I feel blocked.
• I am ashamed to say, but I would prefer to go down one level in the organization, because everything I have is beyond me now. You are – Adam – the first person I say this to.
• what would my employees say if they found out that I am using the help of a coach and therapist. After all, I should be bulletproof and deal with my own problems.